Change of plans

After 10 years of thinking I wanted to be an engineer, I've decided that what I want to be isn't an engineer at all. I want to be a philosophy teacher. The thing that attracted me to engineering was the ability to solve problems on a daily basis, but I can solve better problems and help others by teaching philosophy. Talk about doing a complete 180, eh? But if you think about it, philosophy is more my style. I'm the kind of guy that can spend hours just thinking. Sitting around and thinking. Not about stupid shit like what I'm going to do tomorrow or what people think of me, but about important shit like why things are the way they are. And what is philosophy? Questioning why things are the way they are. Come Monday, that's what I'm going to do. Talk to the right people and get my major changed to philosophy, and start in the classes as soon as humanly possible. The amount of clarity that this decision has created for me is amazing, and I think I will be a lot happier from here on in. Adieu. Josh.

Bah!?

Holy fucking wow. I had to have had one of the most mentally decapacitating nights last night. The evening started off with me going to the cop shop at about 9. Apparantly, the police like puntuality because I left at about 9:15 (being as I told the officer I'd be there about 9-ish) and the police were around looking for me while I was walking there. Anyways, I get there expecting to get some civil suit slapped in my face for some random act of boredom I had commited about a week prior. A friend and I were bored, and we found that we could get ourselves onto this little overhang on one of the dorms on campus. Well, when we got up there some crabby-ass girl bitched us out, telling us to "get off the fucking ledge." We immediatly got down, because I personally do not like to deal with angry women. Anyways, about 3 nights after that, the same girl was talking to my friend and he jumped up on the ledge to better converse with her. She proceded to bitch him out saying "are you the fuckers that have been climbing on the ledge?" Somehow my name got mixed into it, she ran out of her room and we left. Quickly. 3 nights ago, some other guys and I were hanging outside of the same dorm (on the ground) and somehow warrented a noise complaint. The cops came, checked ID's, and one pulled me aside and read me my rights. I gave him an inquisitive stare the whole time, and he started talking about people who had been climbing on ledges. I paniced and lied, which didn't work out too well, because they called me up the next day to come down to the cop shop. Which gets me back to last night. I go (expecting a civil suit), but the cop turns out to be cool as hell. He explains that the only issue is from the university thinking we're perverts. He knew that it was just a case of two guys bored at 3 in the morning, so I filled out an honest statement, drank some free soda, and got the hell out of there.

Now, to follow that, I went to see the girl two floors above me hoping that she would cheer me up. After hanging out in one of her friend's room for a while, we leave and she tells me that "we need to talk." Never a good thing to hear from a girl. She told me that she doesn't feel right dating me, and that she's sorry for giving me such mixed signals. I figured that such a thing was coming, so I was cool with it. A little disappointed, but cool nonetheless. We then go hang out on a roof, and the whole way up there she's becoming more and more flirtatious. This is what fucked with my head the most. And then, while we're up there, she procedes to give me that inviting look that no guy can resist. So we make out for a bit. After this, my friends Karch and Dan come up to the roof, we talk, I walk the girl home, go back over to hang out with them, and while waiting for pizza I find a 20 dollar bill. I then went and watched Jersey Girl (which is a good movie) and afterwards went back on the roof for a cigarette. On my way down, I run into a few other friends, we talk, and end up going to Perkin's for breakfast. Upon returning, I made the worst decision I could have possibly made at the time; watching Donnie Darko (another great film).

So as you can see, my mind has pretty much been turned into a puree of grey mush. I can't make heads or tails of anything, or decide if the night was good or bad. God damn I hate weird nights. But at the same time I love them. Gah! Confusion...overrunning...logic...can't...think...must...do...something...please...help...me.......please... Anyways, adieu, Josh.

Live free, die well.

Recently I got on the topic of death while conversing with my friend Chris. There are quite a few people that don't understand the concept of a good or bad way to die. Chris does, which is why I talk to him. Anyways, when presented with a horrendous thought on a way to die a person almost always says "That would be a bad way to die. Of course, there isn't really a good way to die." Every time I hear this, I want to slap whoever says it. Yes, there is a good way to die. You can die quickly, or for something you believe in. Getting beheaded with a rusty and dull knife over a 6 hour period would be a bad way to die. Burning alive would be a bad way to die. Dying of any terminal illness is a bad way to die. Being shot in the head (and dying with that one shot) would be a good way to die. A massive heart attack would be a good way to die. Dying from a botched skydiving attempt would be a good way to die. Quicker = better, slower = worse. If you think there is no good way to die, let me show you the video of the Iraqi soldiers slowly electrocuting and decapatating an American, followed by a video of someone being shot in the head point blank. You then tell me which way is better. And one will be better. Not every way to die is bad. If you are going to continue to be ignorant, drop dead of some weird disease.